Nesting

Now that I’m not working, I have to get my house back in order, and begin the process of being a housewife all over again. I think I’ll start with the dirtiest spots first-toilet, shower, bathroom and kitchen sinks, and the stove. I am going to completely overhaul my home, but I want to see progress in each room.

Some things I want to do in my house:

*clean the dirtiest spots
*clean up the laundry in the bedroom
* clean the deck and add my plant hut to it.

So I worked on the deck and a bit of the living room, cleaned off my desk and reorganized it, and cleared and wiped the kitchen table. Now I have spots for incoming and outgoing mail, notebook spot for purchases, budget, shopping, and future plans, and clean dishes.

In the past two weeks since I quit my job, I have helped my mother’s elderly cousin move some stuff around in her house helped my mom have a yard sale, harvested basil, apples and tomatoes, put up said harvest as dried and pesto spiced applesauce, and I ground the tomatoes in the food processor to freeze and turn into sauce at holiday time, and I have harvested wild grapes. Just today I have started the process of turning those grapes into wine. I attended an art drawing night.

I feel wonderful! #paganhomesteading

What do you do?

Other Pagans make shrines. Other Pagans make altars, sacrifice, cast spells, pray, eat certain ways, drink certain ways, become monastic.

I am not sure if I can do that. There are so many folks out there who pray daily, who worship and cast and do magick daily, who walk in only deosil directions and who know all the tarot and runes and astrology things.

I worry that my own powers go unnoticed because I don’t do these things.

I sing daily. I practice my songs daily. I can read the thoughts of a composer through the staves on the page. I can see them. I can link the music with astrology and the spheres, but I still don’t know enough to do it in depth. But I can tell you about yourself in the music you write.

But who out there among you would know or benefit from this? How do I explain the emotional significance of a I-IV-V chord progression without boring some of my readers to death, never mind how it would relate to Paganity from a musical perspective?

I simply continue to sing every day and I thank the Gods that I still can.

New Prospects-with the Gods and with Life

I recently began contributing to online shrines, creating main pages. I did Bast first, and continued with the Capitoline Triad. The Jupiter entry is complete, but I am stumbling on the Juno entry. I completely erased it what I had written a few nights ago. She is so much more than I had anticipated. I’m not entirely sure how to describe Her. I need to avoid saying diminutizing things. I just feel like I don’t have the right idea about her yet. Her cosmology is vast!

A new beginning

I think I am going to start daily rituals again. I have an interest in Ancient Rome and Roman religion, and I do have a lararium of sorts. There is an article here at novaroma.org for well researched morning and evening rituals.

I confess that I have a hard time being consistent. I can make all the announcements I want and it doesn’t mean I’ll actually do it. I think I will first study these rituals thoroughly, and then I will attempt them.

Nothing Magick

It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot of late.  I’ve actually been laying my cards on the table at work, and the hardest thing to do is…nothing.  I’ve been horribly, horribly mistreated.   I need to do again what I’ve done in the past: Let it percolate in their minds. They know I’m angry now, and they know I have leverage.  What I need from the universe is some kind of …lack.  I need there to be nothing for them to hold on to, and nothing to go by.  I need them to be unable to make a dent in my “show” of courage.

They could still let me go, fire me, lay me off.  But with that, comes unemployment and I don’t think they want to pay unemployment.

I’ve got everything where I think it should be.  I simply can’t push it.  It is very hard to wait. But in this twilight stage of my situation, I still need cognitive stimulation, and I usually put my thoughts and energies forward toward the time when things will come to a head.

My intuition has been very good with this job so far, but in the next situation, I’ll be on a balance beam, though it is no fault of my own.

So, I will contribute to my next “win” with silence, and an absolute “drop” of the issue.    In the meantime, I will visualize energy being taken away from the situation and not replaced.

Beginning

I finally got up the courage to ask my husband if it would be okay for us to meet one of the men interested in being submissive to me. It’s kind of short notice for the guy-I missed the deadline for Rhode Island Rhope meet, and tomorrow is my birthday. But I didn’t want to ask the guy before I asked my husband, you know? Kinda bad form.But out of at least 50 guys who have contacted me, this one is patient. Unhappy with having to wait, yes, but patient and kind. He shows emotional self-control. I like that very much. It should be rewarded, right?

Witchcraft : Magick, Paganism : Deity

Four years ago, when I first started my Pagan Music Project, I got asked “What’s the difference between Witchcraft and Paganism?”  That was difficult for me to answer. I struggled with it for a while, and then forgot about it.  Now, I think I’ve got it.

Witchcraft is about energies and powers that be.  Witchcraft spells and Witch magick are about working with the energetic machine that the world and universe are part of.  It’s almost more of a job than it is a religion. Witches around the world are people that “do.” Whether good or bad, Witches “do” things.

Paganism is religion. Pagan spells are about sharing the power of a Deity, should that Deity choose to share with you.  Pagan rituals, spells, and magick are about worshiping Deities, who, in return for long-term service and offerings to them, grant you boons, and may even visit with you on the material plane if They find you worthy of it.  Whether a Deity is good or bad, you will find Pagans worshipping Them.

In Witchcraft, the central point of the ritual is the magick worked, and the power used is naturally occurring energy.  In Paganism, the magick takes place through the Deity’s power and consent.

I used to think that Paganism and Witchcraft were not very far from each other, and I thought they were mostly the same thing with different names.  I realize that that isn’t so.  The reason that this has been so difficult for me -and I’ve asked this question before, and not been satisfied until now- is that their functional practice is intertwined.  Witchcraft can be and is very often done in the presence of Deity, and Deities will teach and practice magick themselves.

Take Aradia/Herodias or Hekate, for example.    Aradia/Herodias is the daughter of Diana, who lays the task upon her daughter to teach all who wish to learn sorcery and witchcraft.  Hekate is the keeper of the knowledge of magick; the librarian of the dark powers of the universe.  Hekate will let you in to the library; Aradia will teach you the spells.

This leads me to believe that the magick cogs in the universe are separate from Deity- both Humans and Deities are capable of accessing the Power, but to a degree based on experience, training, and of course, supernatural existence.  I think Deities have both personal power and energy, as well as the ability to work with the natural power of the universe, and we call on them in Witchcraft and Wicca in order to teach us and guide our magick.  In Paganism, we ask them to do magick and grant wishes on our behalf, and are expected in both cases to follow through with real-world actions post-ritual to prove our commitment.

In short, there is a clear separation between Witchcraft and Paganism, however, it is very hard to see it that way, especially when it is the Gods themselves that are teaching us.  Deities use magick themselves, as well as raw power, and so do we, as practitioners.  We work together with Deities to get the most out of Life, Death, Nature, and Power.

 

 

Chastity for Protection

I’ve come across a client that could sure use some protection during our sessions.  No, not from me, and no,not from sex.  He needs protection from himself!

He humped the carpet, naked.  Rubbed his junk raw.  Showed me a picture, and wanted to be humiliated for it.  I told him he belonged on the short bus, and I guess that did the trick.

I think, though, that in real life, I will probably make such guys wear acrylic or metal male chastity belts to protect themselves, and of course, deny them what they’re searching for. Bitches love being denied.

Domina for a Cause

He was a friendly, likeable guy up until this point. Called me ‘darlin’ and ‘love’. Shit like that. Cuddly type. I knew I liked him too much. I kinda had the hots for him, a little bit. I try not to get too close to people at work. I don’t tell them about my private life, but his openness got me to let slip. He said he liked to tie women up and do gothic things to them.  I asked him if he was on FetLife and he looked like he had no clue.

I just found out yesterday that he is a cheater and he’s PROUD of it.  I asked him if he’d made arrangements for open relationships, and he hasn’t.  Shook his head like I was the stupid one.  Then, he brings his girlfriend over and tells me and my other female coworker to be quiet about it.  We were.  At the time, I felt like, okay well, if this is how he wants to live his life, who am I to judge?

I am a Domina, that’s who I am. I IMMEDIATELY wanted to kick his ass upon hearing that he’d been dishonest with his many partners. Respect went down the toilet.  It really did make him not sexy anymore.  Now I want to yell, scream, and finally, tie him upside down to a St Andrew’s cross, and beat the ever-loving shit out of his bipolar ass until he agrees not to be a lying, cheating bastard.  I want to abuse this motherfucker.

This is one person I actually WON’T be dominating.  I would lose myself in my anger and reprobation.  I need to find a way to confront this issue without getting into an argument.

I notice this is an important theme in my domination.  I want to make men understand what it feels like to be a woman, and I want to know what it feels like to be a man.  I don’t want to change my sex or cross dress, myself.  I want to change gender roles and be in control, and I have a specific cause-sexually-based emotional abuse.

I don’t think he realizes that he’s abusing these women. He thinks “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Au contraire. Because if he’s sleeping around, he’ll catch herpes at some point and give it to one of them.  Fucking asshole.  That word isn’t enough to describe him.

I think the only thing to do would be to tell on him. He’s already been told, by other dudes at work not to get so personal. Now I know why.   I think I’ll mention it in conversation, because I find it offensive enough to ruin his life over.  I think I’ve found my niche market-beating the crap out of men who cheat and lie.

We are definitely not friends anymore.

Gender Role Switching in Opera-A Source List

Peter Ringo asked if I would write an article on Gender Roles in Opera.  I can’t.  There are already so many good ones out there and I’d just be stealing their work.  I would much rather create a list of good articles so we can get a good discussion going about how these things came about and continue today, and see what may possibly apply to modern day GLBTQ-types of Pagans and our music at large.

So, here are some articles and my own little paraphrases of what they are about:

Cross-Dressing:

Homosexual Composers and Operatic Themes

Lesbians in Opera

Trans-people in Opera

 

So, I hope this gave a general overview of LGBTQ issues in opera today.  We’d have to comb historical operas to find transgendered characters.  I’m sure they are there, however, quite a few operas have been written and then left aside for the ages.  I’m sure that some of us could find an opera written for Hermaphroditos somewhere, likely by Handel, on IMSLP…..